


when he gets older (he might be the one)

by littlebasingse



Category: All The Young Dudes - MsKingBean89, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marauders - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 04:14:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29786274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebasingse/pseuds/littlebasingse
Summary: A Jegulus one-shot. James reminisces on their time together on the morning he learns of Regulus's death. More of an All the Young Dudes (MsKingBean89) fanfic than a Harry Potter (JKR) one.
Relationships: Regulus Black & James Potter, Regulus Black & Sirius Black, Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black & James Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 28





	when he gets older (he might be the one)

From the first moment James Potter laid eyes on Regulus Black, he knew the boy wouldn’t live to see thirty. He put on a brave face, but it was a farce to anyone with a sickle’s worth of sense and a dash of empathy. The weight of the Black family weighed heavily on both Sirius and Regulus - you could see it in their sunken eyes and wiry frames. Sirius masked his pain with humor, flashing his signature smile instead of projecting a frown the way his younger brother did.

That’s not to say that Regulus Black looked sickly. Both brothers held beauty in their bones in a way recognized by all who encountered them. They looked like princes of some foreign kingdom, and in many ways they were. Sirius’beauty was more boyish, and kind, while Regulus’ screamed _“stay away from me,”_ like the beast from a fairy tale.

James had always noticed boys in a more observant way than his friends, namely Peter Pettigrew, who had in their childhood poked fun at James when he spoke on these observations. But, being a Potter, love was in his blood, and his heart persevered. He liked to see the good in everybody, even in the face of heartbreak.

It was hard to feel bad for Regulus Black these days. Whatever he and James had was long past, not only because of Lily Evans but because of the mark of hate that held a tight grip on Regulus’s arm. In their early years at Hogwarts, they had been each other’s escape. As Sirius’ best friend, James knew the pressure that Reg was under. Knowing the other made it easier to understand both Black boys.

He and Regulus never really knew what they were. The Black family was “traditional,” to say the least, and James knew that Reg was expected to find a wife as soon as he became of age - probably some distant relation, knowing the Blacks. It was easier not to talk about it, and just let it happen… whatever it was. For James Potter, it was first love, pure and true. Sometimes, staring into Regulus’s eyes, he thought he could see love too, but only for an instant before indignation took over.

Things had started slow, and confusing. Scary, and exciting. Digging through his memory, James wasn't even sure how it began. How did James know that Regulus wanted to press his lips against his as badly as James wanted to feel his warmth against his skin? Was it instinct? Was it hope?

One thing he could remember was the softness of Regulus’s kisses, which surprised him from someone who held so much anger. He remembered quick smiles and stifled laughter as he teased Reg, _“Guess both Black brothers are a disappointment to the ‘noble and most ancient house’”_

Reg had smiled sadly as if longing for something that James didn’t understand. Freedom?

Things had lasted longer with Regulus than James had ever expected. It was hard, above all, to keep such a secret from Sirius, but he knew that his best friend wouldn’t react well to learning he was snogging his brother. Either way, the Marauders were too preoccupied with terrorizing Hogwarts with their nonsense to notice James slipping away every now and then.

They usually holed up in cupboards and closets, always as far away from the Slytherin dormitories as possible. As much as James longed to hold Regulus’s hand and drag him through the hallways like most young couples at Hogwarts, he selfishly enjoyed having Reg all to himself. In such small spaces, the boys had no choice but to be clumsily entangled in each other. They didn’t talk much, which made it easier for Regulus.

James loved holding him - wrapping his arms around the boy and softly kissing his cheek. He created moments of peace for both of them.

He tried to savor each moment, knowing that none of it could last. Every year they drifted farther apart, as the Black family’s grip grew tighter on Regulus, and James could do nothing but sit by and watch as Reg grew tired of fighting it. He was never much of a fighter.

That’s how things ended, one day. James always avoided talking about Regulus’s family, but for a moment he thought perhaps he could save the boy he loved from a life of unhappiness.

“ _Why don’t you ever stand up to them? You’re all they have now that Sirius is out. You’re their heir - you could change things.”_

He didn’t mean to start an argument - James said it as more of a plea. In that moment, Regulus’s eyes had changed, darkening. 

_“It’s not that easy.”_ Regulus spit back.

 _“If things go badly, you have me, you have Sirius-”_ He begged, grabbing the boy’s hand.

Regulus shot one last cold look at James Potter. They were so close in their hiding place that their noses were nearly touching.

_“I knew you’d never understand… you’re just like the rest. Fuck you, Potter.”_

He shook his head angrily, stumbling out of the Quidditch cupboard where they hid. As he hurried away, James heard a final word mumbled under Regulus’s breath.

_“Queer.”_

And thus, James Potter’s first love had ended as quickly as it began.

Afterward, James often wondered if it was a dream. Had any of it ever been real? Had he ever really known Regulus Black?

It was hard for the boy - now, a man - to believe that the person he used to steal breathy kisses from in his youth was now part of something as hateful and evil as the Death Eaters. In the early days, James blamed himself. _I should have fought harder for him._

When this was all over - the war, a distant memory, and Voldemort long-dead - James planned to visit Regulus. Perhaps he’d get off easy, or maybe James would have to visit Regulus at Azkaban. He just wanted to talk to him again. He wanted to understand.

Since graduating from Hogwarts and joining the Order, the name Regulus Black was never spoken by James or any of his friends - even Sirius. Despite their differences, James knew how much Regulus loved his brother - and how much his brother loved him. He hoped one day they’d meet again, and embrace each other as a family again.

In spite of it all, James _was_ still hopeful for the future. He knew that goodness, that _love_ had to persevere. In the wake of so much loss in the war, he still had his friends by his side. He had Lily. James knew he’d do everything in his power to protect them all.

_From the first moment James Potter laid eyes on Regulus Black, he knew the boy wouldn’t live to see thirty._

Staring down at the Daily Prophet that morning, James felt numb in the fact that he had been right all along.

**_Black Heir Confirmed Dead._ **


End file.
